Thursday, December 4, 2014

Why I Waited for Marriage...

If there is one thing I know, it's this #doseoftruth... Every day is filled with chances and choices.

I have two children, that I love with my everything. They are a most amazing product of a relationship that was just not meant to last, it never resulted in marriage and it just crumbled from our immaturity and a pure lack of solid foundation. A relationship is a series of choices, made by two parties, with results that change the course of history for everyone involved...even the new lives that are born from it. The end product is a story to share that creates a beautiful tapestry. If you have ever studied a tapestry, you know this: The front side is a true work of art, intricate details and inspiring design... but the back side is just, well... quite frankly ugly. A convoluted series of knots, criss-crossed lines of fabric and plenty of loose threads, It's the perfect analogy to life.

From the side everyone can see, the side we display to the world, we can appear quite lovely, very put together and whole... even darn close to perfect! But the reality is, on the back side of the tapestry... where all the choices we are faced with and the chances we take are located... that's where we live. That's the Land of Authenticity... that's the side we should be showing everyone, and not be afraid to do so. Because honestly? People really don't want to be fooled by your seemingly perfect life that you think you need to front day in and day out... the people around us want us to be genuine. We should be encouraging each other to share the raw parts of ourselves that make us human! Front your mistakes, your fears and doubts, your flaws, your struggles and your inadequacies because that's real. Forget about what you think represents "normal"... this is ALL of us... THIS is what's normal. Embrace it.

I digressed. :) Why do I share these things with you? Because I have the desire to be transparent, to live out the things that I believe to be true, to live a life that's consistent with the person that I show to the world, and not to be ashamed of the backside of my tapestry. So I go back to my kids... one of them is a young lady who will be 13 just two short weeks from today, and she is such a gift. "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." (Luke 12:48) She has been given and entrusted to me... and sometimes, not only do I not feel worthy, but it also scares me! "God, she is way too precious, and I mess up too much! You know this about me for You are familiar with all of my ways." And He answers, "Yes, I am. And I know you will do right by me. I trust you Shannon."

Wow. So what do I do with that? After a few years of being single, I took a chance and began a relationship with a man, a relationship that I knew was real and solid and gripped my heart with a force that only life-changing love can. And now I was faced with a choice... do I wait for marriage? Or don't I? Do I live out my desires in a way that's totally acceptable in our world? Or do I put my desires on hold because I claim I believe in a God I trust, and because I have a soon-to-be teenage daughter at home who is witnessing this all unfold... and unfortunately she does WAY MORE of what I DO in this life and far much less of what I SAY!?

For 3 years and 4 months I waited. It was one of the most extremely difficult tests I have ever put me and another person through. I waited because I wanted to honor God with my body and with this amazing gift of a man He blessed my life with. I waited because I had made the choices and took the chances that led me down a particular path in this life before... and even though they produced some amazing elements of my tapestry, I had the chance to try again and to be different this time. I waited because I wanted to set an example for my daughter, at a critical time in her life of self-discovery, that she can be different than her peers... IF she chooses. I know that regardless of the seeds I attempt to plant, she will continue to get older, and she will make her own choices that ultimately have NOTHING to do with me... and those choices may lead to mistakes, consequences and results that will change the course of history for everyone involved. BUT, no matter what path her life takes, I will forgive because I have been forgiven. And I will love because I have been loved. And I will teach her to do the same, because I have been entrusted with her life. Thank you God for the lessons.

Until the next dose,

Sunday, October 26, 2014

New Chances...

"Today begins the first day of the rest of my life." That's really something to think about! That's #adoseoftruth for sure! It is my hope that if you pull nothing else from this entry today, that at the very least, you will take that thought and apply it to your morning EACH and EVERY day from now until your last breath. It's a short statement, so it's nothing that you can't memorize, and it puts things into a correct perspective. In the morning, when you wake up, yesterday no longer matters. Things you said may linger, things you did may feel fresh... but feelings aren't facts. The FACT is... it's now in the past. Today is new, and with that is a NEW CHANCE to live again. So... how can we live differently?

I spent about 2 hours today in personal reflection at one of our local coffee establishments... it was very intense. I was in a room of people, but yet my only company really, was myself. And I don't know about you, but sometimes, when you come to those "look in the mirror" moments, it's not always pleasant to be in the same room with that person. For me, this entire year has been like one long session in front of the mirror... asking things like, "Who the heck are you? Who do you think you are? What the heck do you really want? What is your purpose to fulfill while you are here? Where are you going? Where do you really want to go? When are you planning to achieve ABC goal? How do you plan to achieve it? And most importantly, WHY, WHY, WHY do you do what you do every day? Those are some tough questions to answer sometimes... and if you have ever had this talk with that person in the mirror, you know where I am coming from. And if you haven't... I would like to encourage you to have one soon.

I thought I would share with you, my personal solution that I have derived from all the reading that I do... (one day I can share with you a few of my favorite life changing reads if you want?) Each and every day, this is what I am in the process of making a habit for my life. Obviously, what works for one person isn't going to work for everyone, but you can at least modify the plan to fit your life. :)


Begin by spending a few minutes in complete silence. Visualize that your mind is like this small body of water, a pond say, and that it's been disturbed by something being thrown into it. Seek to get it motionless! Not one splash, not one wave, not one ripple. A completely STILL pool of water, reflecting perfectly the sky, clouds and tree line above it.

Once your "water" is still... being to imagine "your perfect day"... you will have to figure out what that means for you. For me it means:
- I have given God the first, and therefore best part of my day.
- I have read something in the Bible and meditated on it.
- I have read in full, Psalm 139.
- I have read 10-15 minutes of one of my personal growth books.
- I have spent 30 minutes moving my body.
- I have showered and gotten myself ready for the day. (I work from home, so this is necessary!)
- I have spent 15 minutes reviewing my goals, and planning my day.
- I have read my daily affirmation list.
- I have completed my "2 exposures per day" for LegalShield.
- I have followed up with at least 2 people for LegalShield.
- I have been on time to each place I need to go to that day.
- I have maintained at attitude of joy throughout the day, despite my circumstances.
- I have treated my children, my fiance, and each other person with respect.
- I have provided encouragement to at least one person.
- I have laughed at least one good laugh.
- I have shown respect to myself by speaking to myself in love.
- I have went to sleep with a clear and peaceful mind, and will awaken ready for a new day.

Now, will all this go exactly as I will? Probably not, but it's certainly an amazing place to start! After visualizing your own "perfect day"... it's time to go TAKE ACTION and live it out as best you can. After all... TODAY MATTERS!

I also encourage you to jump on this wagon with me, and revisit your own list EVERY DAY. (Mine is in a spiral notebook that I carry around with me.) Remind yourself of this commitment to betterment and living in a state of constant Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control. Eventually, after much practice, I KNOW this will be a way of life. Good luck fellow Conquerors! May much Peace, Love and Light be with you. and flow from you onto the lives of those around you.

Until the next #dose...

Saturday, October 4, 2014

First Blog Post Ever... I so have no clue what I am doing! lol

Hey there!

My name is Shannon Flies, for those of you who don't know me. My identity is of this: I am a mom of 2, a soon-to-be-wife to their soon-to-be-stepfather, a woman of faith, an entrepreneur, and a servant to others. I am also many more things, but those are the main 5.

I am on this constant journey of "imperfect progress", and I am learning to be in love...with myself, and with life... the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful. Along this journey, I am going through a lot of growing pains... and I have to believe that if I am... then so are other people, so why not talk about it? It's real life, so let's stop lying to ourselves about it all, and let's just get comfortable in living it out. That's why I call this blog, "A Dose of Truth"... because we all need some sort of medicine to relieve the growing pains... although oddly enough, many times the #doseoftruth makes the growing pains worse! :) But through it all, life gets better. (Notice I said better, not easier!)

I believe that God has gifted me with the art of written and spoken word. I also believe that He reveals the timing for the gifts He has given us... if we are paying attention... and if we are willing to accept them. Through circumstances, both self-inflicted and beyond my control, my gift of composing words into meaningful thoughts has finally been crafted. I have felt the tugging to share for quite some time... and it has come out many times through the avenue of Facebook. For my friends and family in that Land... I pray that I have been a blessing in some way.

It's time to join the BlogClub and expand perhaps beyond the limits of social media. This is my first post, I have no clue what I am doing, but as with many things that I try, I WILL figure it out. :)

Happy Saturday! Make it count for something will ya?
-Shannon Flies